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Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop...PAUSE

Updated: Jun 19, 2020

We invited you to exercise with us at Seksé Fit and then online, and now we are inviting you to do a different kind of exercise that doesn’t involve shaking your booty or rolling your hips. This is an existential exercise following my short rant...preach girl, preach!

“It’s a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I (we) keep from going under”

Not for one second did Roach or I contemplate or discuss giving up and shutting down Seksé Fit permanently; the thought never crossed our minds. Just like you have found a way to keep pushing forward during this pandemic, we will not surrender to the Covid terrorist. Despite having to dedicate a lot of our time to homeschooling, domestic responsibilities, and not having any space or time to ourselves, we keep trucking. Everyone's situation is different, I know, but I can only speak about mine and our business.

The odds of survival are stacked up against us: this would be difficult for any relatively new business, let alone a startup trying to disrupt the fitness and beauty industry. We keep from “going under” because we are entrepreneurs that love to problem solve and thrive under a sizable level of risk and chaos—this is our nature. Also, we believe in what we are building, so we can’t turn back on this trek through the jungle—despite our hydroflasks running dangerously low on water. To go full speed ahead, sometimes you have to hit PAUSE, look at the resources around you, and reevaluate the direction you’re heading (maybe even appreciate the nature around you and take a break with your loved ones).

“Hold up, wait a minute!”

If you feel like you are living day to day trying to survive, we encourage you to find time to hit PAUSE. If you have been going through the motions of life and don’t feel fulfilled, it’s time to hit PAUSE. If depression and anxiety are getting the best of you—PAUSE. This is the time to do it, whether you are busier than ever or bored to death; whether you are fighting for your basic needs, businesses, and dreams or have the luxury to work from home and job security; IT’S TIME TO PAUSE.

“Alright, STOP, collaborate and listen!”

Ask yourself: was the life I was living before Covid fulfilling? Was I truly doing what I want, what I am good at and utilizing my skills? Did I have meaningful relationships? Was I living with purpose? Is there anything in this moment of lock down that I have learned about myself that I want to carry forward? If I could live a life that felt like mine, what does that look like?

Being an entrepreneur is not for everyone and honestly I envy and admire those that seek well balanced, stable lives. Fighting for your life in the Startup Jungle for a shot to make it to Paradise Island is no picnic in the park. The idea of a picnic in the park sounds delightful, but I would get restless and want to climb a tree. Whatever it is you're seeking in life, it is your own and it doesn’t have to look a certain way; it has to be yours.

My Dad is the opposite of me, he stayed with the same company his whole life. He loved to manage people and never wanted to climb the corporate ladder; he enjoyed the simple things. I’m frankly not sure how we are related, but we both do share a mean jump shot.

Speaking of: time to play a game...the game of life.

Right now I want you to grab a paper and write 5 things that make you happy. You can do more but don’t overwhelm yourself—when we write down too many goals, it can be harder to focus and execute. Try starting with 5 and conquer them before you add more. When choosing your top 5, you may be compelled to write ice cream, shopping, or netflix but superficial pleasure is fleeting.

Having creative outlets such as dancing help contribute to my happiness factors. What are yours?

Trust me, I love superficial shit too. I am no monk, but it’s time to dig deep. What would kill your soul to go without? If you are a fashion designer, Ben or Jerry, or the founder of Netflix then I can understand if those have to be on your list. (By the way, you don’t have to share your list but it would be cool if you did in the comments section). Here we go, I will use myself as an example:

Top 5 Happiness Factors

  1. Having quality and social time with family and friends

  2. Challenging myself and others to live with moxie and meaning

  3. Healthy relationships with people that accept, understand and embrace me for who I am; and genuinely like me and vice versa.

  4. Traveling, traveling, traveling

  5. Having creative outlets like dance, writing, and making short parody videos with my partner and team.

Now go through each one and honestly ask yourself if you have all of these essential happiness factors in your life or have enough of them. For those that are non-existent or lacking, write down how you will start working towards improving them, even in this Covid crisis. Set goals with deadlines that can be flexible. I won’t share mine because it’s too long and too personal. Hey, I have some boundaries, not many, but some. See nude pictures below...

Next, list 5 criteria that give your life purpose and meaning. Here’s mine:

Top 5 Purpose Factors

  1. Sustaining and nurturing loving, healthy, unconditional relationships with my family and friends and being there for them; especially my son.

  2. Being myself and ok with not fitting in or being judged.

  3. Helping people recognize and love their unique, individual character and traits. And helping them live a life they own and feel fulfilled by.

  4. Disrupting the status quo in fitness, beauty, health and wellness. Yes wellness—not everyone finds peace and serenity in meditation. Some of us have to unleash our beast by being uninhibited, sexy, and silly (like this video we made). Being a zen yogi isn’t the only way to meditate and to be enlightened; we have a different way of doing things here at Seksé Fit.

  5. Seeing the world, experiencing different cultures, meeting and connecting with new people.

Once again, go through all of these factors and check off the ones that you are performing at a high level and for the ones that you are underachieving, make a plan on what you need to do and how you are going to do it with a flexible deadline.

You will notice my 5 Happiness Factors and 5 Purpose Factors are connected. Why? Happiness and purpose are correlated. Purpose gives our existence meaning, a sense of self, of importance, and a belief that what we accomplish matters. This builds self-esteem and teaches us self-love, this offers us unconditional and sustainable happiness. Purpose can take some time to discover so it’s important to understand what makes your soul happy and what your values are. Once you have that, you may start to unfold your life's purpose and it doesn’t have to be one thing.

Going for a walk looks a little different these days (silver lining: you can pretend you’re a wild west bank robber)

If you need to do some soul searching, maybe take a walk or a hike. Get lost in nature. Think about all the times you felt proud of yourself, completely free to express yourself, or had unadulterated fun. What did you love to do when you were a child? All the things that I loved to do as a child, I am recognizing now that I need to be doing for the rest of my life. We all have innate qualities that shape our personalities as children. So PAUSE, think about what those are and figure out how they are related to your happiness and purpose.

Obviously I will not become a world traveler tomorrow and who knows when with this virus floating in the air, but I can start planning my first trip. And just because I’ve always loved to dance, doesn’t mean I need to be a professional dancer, maybe I just make time to dance or open up a really cool studio where like minded people can dance with me. We don’t all have to be the next American Idol or billionaire software developer, oftentimes those high level roles don’t always afford much happiness. So PAUSE, dig deep, and figure out what kind of existence is going to fulfill you and when you know what is and you have a plan, get after it!

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